A tragedy

The infinite, 

multiplying possibilities of childhood, 

being chased forever,

by the whittling years,

are dead men 

now.

Their ghosts however

return, without fail

to haunt the undeniable

now.

fulcrum

stay - poise !
a knife edge
insanity yawns below
enligtenment behind.

a light breeze blows.

babylon

i drown and i choke!
noises, smells, colours and smoke
life, chaos and crime,
coughing and sputtering, i look
out on some weird god's pantomime.

shades

what good ?
what evil ?
what absolutes ?

black and white
are for the books
and the movies
I read and I watch
and shake such
fancies away
life has for me
but shades of gray.

hushaar !

i am warned
to stay away
from the deep
and the dark
corners of my mind.

somebody was there
and did not like
what they did find.

lol.

lukoi

head thrown back
running
i drank in the light
running
like i should never
have been able

the ground opened up
the trees moved
one with the green
i moved
things that tripped
and things that snagged
did not bother

graceful and lithe
i drank it all in
sharp contrasts
soft yellow light
a darker green
and the smell -
an epiphany played
played inside of me

easing into a stop
incredulity winning
for a moment
over the newfoundness
the world twanged to a stop
an instant after i did
like rubber stretched
and not wanting to stop
urging me on

i look down
scratches on my arms
almost healing
and flash back to
a glimpse of gleaming
fangs in the dark

only a moment
a single frame
that dissolves into
the world alive
in front and around
my body thrums
with an energy
that will not
be contained

i pull back
one last time
inside
and then
mouth wide
smelling, tasting
tendons stretching
and muscles taut
i bound away.

buckle up dorothy

who or what
and where was i
why and how
and when did i
get to be
into this strange
looking glass
alice - dear lass
thought she
had it bad
i'd give lewis
a run for
the money
he had.

pity

fend !
the barbs
the insults
the backstabbing
the nonchalance
the unending stupidity

what am i fending for ?
fending exhausts
leaves me no time
none whatsoever
to live with
whats mine
might as well
stop
and be rubbed under
trampled to the dust
from whence we
sprung fighting

such a waste.

early death

musings, born
out of a monkey mind
that refuses to be still
jumping and grabbing
on to every passing thought
following it around
chattering
gibbering
and discarding it
for the next ,
die an early
death.

breaking the law

completely wasted,
i was riding the edge
while it lasted

top down and head up,
the night roared by
as my foot wouldnt let up.

my car screamed down the road
and my mind joined in
a while later

past the trees and the posts
as angels above and demons below
gambled on being my new hosts.

stray

somewhere along the way
i stopped being a stray.

orderliness, discipline and rules -
that is what is needed you fools.
or so we were told,
by those that were more than just old.

somewhere further along the way,
i miss being astray,
of thumbing my nose at the world,
and just having it my way.

habit

dinner is done
and i sit here
fiddling.
looking, searching, twitching
for my nightly habit

not finding you,
i pick up a pebble
and let it fly
while my mind
skips over everything
with hardly
any interest

my eyes flick
left and right
as my mind invents
reasons and rationalizations
to get rid of this splinter

poking, prodding
it refuses to abate
till i have you
in my sight

you are a nightly habit
and habits are broken
much harder
than they are made

i come back
each night,
wanting you
to grant me some respite.

about

i dont believe
that i can say more
i shall remain quiet
and smile to myself
some will call me insane
but who says sanity is all ?

comfortable

and somewhere
since the beginning of this conversation
'twas something i said
or something i did
you changed
from being chatty
to being quiet and lost
in yesyerday - silent

i sit by the silence
that has you in a hold
moments i dont want to trample in on

with a warm cup of coffee in hand
watching you watch the outside
my fingers tracing figures on the table
not saying anything
comfortable.